i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
