Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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