The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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