I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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