oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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