But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
