It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
