there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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