I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
