Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
