i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
