Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
They are going to name an STD after you.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
