All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
