Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize