dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
