I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize