Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
