Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There's always time for handjobs
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
