Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
