So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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