I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
