Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
