i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
