Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
