This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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