hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
