I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
