just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When are your genitals available?
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