Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
