I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
