Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
