I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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