you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
