When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
