K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
