I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
