So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
