my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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