i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
