I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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