Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
