i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
