Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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