So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
