He uses pillows to masturbate.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i out mim tonsoeep
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