I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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