his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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