And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
