Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
