that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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