Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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