but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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