I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
