This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
