i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
