You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
