i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
