Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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