please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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