Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Houston, we have a blender
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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