how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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