I am in a vortex of obligation.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
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