I hate all girls vehemently.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
