So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
