I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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