I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
